----------------------------------------------------------------- THE BETTER WRITING SKILLS NEWSLETTER, June 2008 By Tim North of Scribe Consulting (http://www.scribe.com.au) http://www.BetterWritingSkills.com ----------------------------------------------------------------- Welcome to the June 2008 Better Writing Skills newsletter. IN THIS ISSUE 1. Choosing between "I shall" and "I will" 2. Ten tips for writing good sales copy 3. Is it okay to say "and so"? 4. Just for fun Your comments and questions are always welcome. Just send e-mail to: info@BetterWritingSkills.com Cheers, Tim North Perth, Western Australia ----------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Choosing between "I shall" and "I will" ----------------------------------------------------------------- My first correspondent this month, Rick, writes to discuss a change in the style of English over the years: I always learned that "shall" was first person ([I, We] shall get there tomorrow) and "will" was second and third person ([You, She, They] will get there tomorrow.) Rick's quite correct. Some speakers of English still make the following distinction: I SHALL go. You WILL go. She WILL go. Rick goes on to say: I think "will" has come into common usage for first person and seems to be generally acceptable. I agree. I suspect that for most users of English it is now more natural, in most cases, to say or write "I WILL" rather than "I SHALL". Rick continues: However, "shall" seems to be used in proposal writing for requirements. For example, in writing a request for a proposal, I wrote: The system will be able to track hours for part-time employees. When the legal beagles handed it back, the "will" was changed to "shall." Is this just some way for lawyers to think they sound important or is this actually standard English? Ah, Rick, precious little that is written by most lawyers is standard English! I've been told that many lawyers use "shall" and "will" differently. While this may be true, I don't feel that it is a distinction that is made in common usage. Still, if you'd like to know more about this legal usage, this search turns up a surprising amount of commentary: http://www.google.com/search?q=shall+will+legal For general (non-legal) commentary on this issue, try these links: http://www.bartleby.com/64/C001/056.html http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/GRAMMAR/auxiliary.htm http://tinyurl.com/4mmohb Hope this helps. -- (c) 2008 Tim North: http://www.BetterWritingSkills.com ----------------------------------------------------------------- 2. Ten tips for writing good sales copy ----------------------------------------------------------------- Do you ever write ads for online or offline media? If so, the tips below will help you to get the very best response. 1. Start by choosing the single benefit of your product or service that you most wish to highlight. This is your "principal selling position". To choose this, ask yourself what specific benefit makes your product or service different, better, or special. Is it the price?, the convenience?, the reliability? How are you different from your competitors? 2. Write attention-grabbing headlines. This is very important. People are overloaded with information, so they skim read -- particularly on the web. If your headline doesn't get their attention, everything else may go unread. Your headline will often highlight your principal selling position. 3. Write a list of all the features of your product or service then translate each of these into a benefit for the customer. One way to do this is to look at each feature in turn then ask yourself "So what?" Imagine you're a customer; why should you care about this feature? Ask yourself, "What will it do for me?" For example, don't just say that you product is fast (a feature) tell the customer that it will give them more free time (a benefit). Better still, paint a picture of them using their free time to go to the beach, read a book, or relax. 4. Write copy that emphasises the benefits in a way that makes an emotional connection. For example, let's say you're selling toothpaste. A feature might be that it contains fluoride. Sure, but that's boring. Rather, say it "Lessens tooth decay!" or even better: "Brush with Boffo and avoid the dentist's drill!" See? You've turned a dull feature into a strong emotional benefit. Isn't that more effective than "Contains fluoride"? 5. Start with your strongest selling points. The first few paragraphs are particularly important. Use them to create a desire for your product or service by briefly touching on the major benefits it will bring the customer. You don't have to go into too much detail up front as you can expand on these benefits later. Do try to get your big guns in early, though. 6. Testimonials sell. Good, believable testimonials from real people will help sales, particularly on the web where establishing credibility is a tough job. For even better credibility, ask your testimonial writers if you can include their contact details along with their testimonial. 7. Write with a natural style. Don't try to be pretentious or over friendly. Just write it the way you'd say it. 8. Decide who you're writing for and why. What tone are you trying to convey: light hearted or serious? What level of jargon are you going to employ? Suit your language to your intended audience. 9. The final sales pitch can be strengthened with some or all of the following techniques: * Provide a good deal; for example, "20% off". * Employ urgency; for example, "This week only". * Make your offer risk free; for example, "Comes with a money-back guarantee". 10. End by telling the reader how to get your offer; for example, "Ring now" or "Click here to order now for immediate delivery". Needless to say, ordering details must be clearly visible and simple to follow. Looking at these tips, it may seem that good advertising involves manipulating the emotions of your customers. It does. Selling is a blatant form of emotional manipulation that involves convincing your customer that they want to buy your product or service, and they want to do it now. Is this unethical? Well, it can be. It depends where you draw the line. In point 9 I said that your sales message could include a sense of urgency. A common ploy on the web is to include a claim like "Offer closes this Saturday". If you go back to the site the following week, though, the offer is still available. If you were tricked by such a claim, would you order from that company again? Would you recommend it to your friends? So, by all means, use the tips above to write as persuasively as you can, but remember that if you attract sales by deceiving your customers you risk legal action, poor word of mouth, no repeat business and refund requests. So, be as persuasive as you can possibly be, but avoid the temptation to be too persuasive. -- (c) 2008 Tim North: http://www.BetterWritingSkills.com ----------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Is it okay to say "and so"? ----------------------------------------------------------------- My next correspondent this month, KS, writes: I find the way 'so' is used in compound sentences is more often wrong than correct. For example, look at the following sentence: I didn't complete the work assigned to me, so I am afraid to see the boss. I consider, this type of usage, which is very common (even among reputed writers), is *WRONG.* I feel 'so' must be preceded by 'and'; alternatively, the comma preceding 'so' must be replaced by a semicolon. Please advise me with your valued opinion. I'm going to politely disagree with you on this one, KS. There are seven small joining words called "coordinating conjunctions". They are "for", "and", "nor", "but", "or", "yet" and "so". (They form the acronym FANBOYS.) Standard English only requires one of these at a time. For example: Today is Monday, SO tomorrow will be Tuesday. Today is rainy, YET tomorrow is likely to be fine. While it would not be wrong to write "and so" or "and yet", it is not necessary. Hope this helps. -- (c) 2008 Tim North: http://www.BetterWritingSkills.com ----------------------------------------------------------------- Would you like more help with your writing? ----------------------------------------------------------------- On my Better Writing Skills web site, you'll find my range of jargon-free, downloadable e-books that will help you to become a better writer. These e-books will help you with business proposals, report writing, term papers, technical writing, grant writing, creative writing and more. http://www.BetterWritingSkills.com/ebooks.html ----------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Just for fun ----------------------------------------------------------------- This month have a look at "What the Font?", an easy way to identify a font that you don't know the name of. http://www.myfonts.com/WhatTheFont/ They describe themselves like so: Ever wanted to find a font just like the one used by certain publications, corporations, or ad campaigns? Well now you can, using our WhatTheFont font recognition system. Upload a scanned image of the font and instantly find the closest matches in our database. Enjoy. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Do you know someone who'd like this newsletter? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Do you have a friend or colleague who'd find the Better Writing Skills newsletter interesting? If so, please feel free to send a copy of this issue to them. 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