----------------------------------------------------------------- THE BETTER WRITING SKILLS NEWSLETTER, December 2008 By Tim North of Scribe Consulting www.scribe.com.au ----------------------------------------------------------------- Welcome to the final Better Writing Skills newsletter for 2008. IN THIS ISSUE 1. "Its being" or "it being"? 2. Formatting a manuscript for publication 3. Can we shorten a sentence by omitting "that"? 4. "That" or "which"? 5. Just for fun Your comments and questions are always welcome. Just send e-mail to: info@scribe.com.au Cheers, Tim North (Perth, Western Australia) ----------------------------------------------------------------- 1. "Its being" or "it being"? ----------------------------------------------------------------- My first correspondent this month, Andrew, writes: In doing some proofing, [my wife and I] came across this sentence: "I can only plead as my excuse for introducing the subject here the great danger of *its* being overlooked." My wife thinks it should read: "I can only plead as my excuse for introducing the subject here the great danger of *it* [no 's' on it] being overlooked." Which is correct, and why? So, should we write "its being overlooked" or "it being overlooked"? Well, I suggest awarding the points to your wife on this one. (It's usually the safest course of action. :-) ) "Its" with an "s" (and no apostrophe) means "belonging to 'it'". For example, "I like its look" (the look belonging to it). If we consider the phrase "its being overlooked", there is no suggestion of anything belonging to "it". Hence, we're left with the other choice: "it being overlooked". On the subject of "its", I should also mention that when an apostrophe is added ("it's") this is a contraction of "it is". For example, "It's a lovely day". Hope this helps. -- (c) 2008 Tim North: http://www.scribe.com.au ----------------------------------------------------------------- 2. Formatting a manuscript for publication ----------------------------------------------------------------- My next correspondent, Nhi, writes: I have a question: when you are writing say a manuscript for publication - should you leave a single line to indicate a new paragraph or should you use styles and formatting available in Word formatting to allow for a space afterwards? If you're submitting an unsolicited work for consideration by a publisher, they will usually state their submission requirements on their web site. Sometimes these will include formatting information. Read these carefully, and format things however the publisher prefers. For example, Wiley (US) provides their requirements here: http://www.wiley.com/WileyCDA/Section/id-301840.html In the absence of specific formatting guidelines, I would use Word's ability to define a paragraph style that includes some space before (or after) the paragraph. This is preferable to hitting "Enter" twice at the end of a paragraph as it prevents blank lines appearing at the top of a page. It also allows a much greater formatting flexibility later. Hope this helps. -- (c) 2008 Tim North: http://www.scribe.com.au ----------------------------------------------------------------- Do you know someone who'd like this newsletter? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Do you have a friend or colleague who'd find the Better Writing Skills newsletter interesting? If so, please feel free to send a copy of this issue to them. Alternatively, please tell them they can browse back issues here: http://www.scribe.com.au/newsletter.html Thanks for helping to make this newsletter so successful! ----------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Can we shorten a sentence by omitting "that"? ----------------------------------------------------------------- My final correspondent for 2008, Steve, writes: I write scientific procedures in which I've been encouraged to be concise and omit words where ever possible. Here are two versions of the same sentence from a current manuscript where I've essentially omitted "that". 1. The medium in each container was saturated with 30ml of water that was applied using an atomizer that dispensed 1ml per pump. 2. The medium in each container was saturated with 30ml of water applied using an atomizer dispensing 1ml per pump. Do you think version 2 conveys the same information as version 1? Yes. I'm comfortable the second sentence conveys the same information. As you have been instructed to be concise, it also has the advantage of reducing the length from 22 words to 19. An alternative you might consider is to split the original sentence into two smaller sentences like so: 3. The medium in each container was saturated with 30ml of water. This was applied using an atomizer that dispensed 1ml per pump. While this is still 22 words, you may feel the shorter sentences yield a greater clarity. As with many such choices, this is more a matter of taste than a rule to be rigorously applied. Steve went on to ask: One more question. What do you think of this sentence? We tested the beetles using insecticide. Does this sentence indicate the beetles are using the insecticide? I have a very strange mental image of your lab, Steve. :-) I guess this sentence could have the meaning you mention. In practice, though, I suspect few people would be confused for long. Still, you could avoid even this momentary ambiguity by adding the word "by", like so: We tested the beetles *by* using insecticide. Hope this helps. -- (c) 2008 Tim North: http://www.scribe.com.au ----------------------------------------------------------------- 4. "That" or "which"? ----------------------------------------------------------------- As we've been talking about the word "that" in the previous article, it's a natural follow-on to ask the question "When should I use 'that', and when should I use 'which'?" Consider the following sentences. Both are acceptable, but their meanings are subtly different: 1. The books, which have red covers, are new. 2. The books that have red covers are new. In the first sentence, the words "which have red covers" are *adding* information about the books. That is, they're telling you more about the books than you'd otherwise have known. (They're red, not some other colour.) All of the books are new. In the second sentence, the words "that have red covers" are *restricting* the books we're talking about. This time, only the red books are new. Now, here's our rule of thumb: Use "which" (surrounded by commas) if a group of words adds information. Use "that" if it restricts the set of things you're talking about. Here are two more examples just to make that clear: 3. Elephants that have big ears live in Africa. 4. Leap years, which have 366 days, contain an extra day in February. In the first sentence, the words "that have big ears" are restricting the type of elephants that we're talking about. (African elephants have big ears. Indian elephants have smaller ears.) We thus use "that". In the second sentence, the words "which have 366 days" are adding information. We thus use "which" surrounded by commas. Hope this helps. -- (c) 2008 Tim North: http://www.scribe.com.au ----------------------------------------------------------------- 5. Just for fun This month, in view of the often spiritual nature of the holiday season, have a look at "The Theology of Toys": http://www.villines.com/Internet/toys.htm See you all in February! Tim N. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Would you like more help with your writing? ----------------------------------------------------------------- On my web site, you'll find my range of jargon-free, downloadable e-books that will help you to become a better writer. These e-books will help you with business proposals, report writing, term papers, technical writing, grant writing, creative writing and more: http://www.scribe.com.au/ebooks.html ----------------------------------------------------------------- REPRODUCING THIS MATERIAL You are welcome to reproduce the articles in this newsletter that are copyrighted by Tim North, but please don't modify or sell them. Also, please provide a clickable link back to: http://www.scribe.com.au Additional freely republishable articles can be found here: http://www.scribe.com.au/free-articles.html FUTURE MAILINGS You can prevent (or receive) future mailings by visiting this page: http://www.scribe.com.au/newsletter.html This is a GENUINE service, and you will not receive any unsolicited e-mail as a result. You have my word on it. -----------------------------------------------------------------